Dear married or single male friend,

Normally I would not say anything but my favorite illegal- TV- series- website is finally prosecuted by our government therefore my brain has been disconnected from whatever was sucking the neurons out if it –either medical dilemmas seasoned with sinful relationships or very awkward fires put out by very handsome men- so here are some thoughts. For quite a long time I have been single, blissfully single or not married – feel free to circle in your mind whatever option you feel more comfortable with, but let me tell you something : just because I sit next to you at a conference, in the cafeteria or in a restaurant, does not automatically mean I am interested in you. I saw your wedding ring and for me that is a sacred sign, something like my lost sense of forever so relax!! Yes, I can laugh at your jokes but please, do not get overly encouraged by my laugh.. you see.. my sense of humor grew with my weight so if you know me, that should give you a sense of its proportion. Did I compliment you on your speech? Did I say something nice about your shirt? You should feel encouraged by that!!! I’ve had strangers telling me “ I am married” with a semi-horrified oh-goodness-do-no-let-the fat-over-35-woman-come-on-to-me look in their eyes within two minutes and two smiles after I sat next to them. I even had guy telling me he was gay because we ended up having dinner together. Mind you, THIS guy was right to get scared about my excitement but .. I am a teacher and the last time I was alone with a male at the dinner table I had to cut his meat since his 9 year old hands could not do it. The other day, one of my married friends, whom I admire most broke my heart. I wished one of our common friends a happy birthday and I said, in a what’s app group how much I admire our friend so I was promptly and semi-publicly reminded that “He is taken” as if my admiration depended on his eligibility. At church, I am called sister so often by males I feel like looking at my childhood pictures just to make sure these people were not in my family when I was growing up. Don’t misunderstand me, I love being called sister, it reminds me of my status as a child of God, a sister of Christ, whom I love dearly, I just don’t like it when the word puts me in my non romantic place. So, dear married or single male friend, next time you assume that my smile or compliment is a sign of marital despair please remember: it is humiliating and demeaning and I don’t deserve it. I promise you this, though: if you are single and if I like you, if I am interested in you, I will let you know, I will pray about it, I will even use words and I will take yes or no for an answer. If it is a “no” I’ll move on, because I know my Father has something amazing prepared for me and I look forward to it so relax, you’re safe with me!